Thursday, February 25, 2010

teachers in trouble for lap dance during pep rally in Canadian high school

I thought some of you might be interested in this. You will need to make sure you're children are NOT looking over your shoulder. (You can't hear anything inappropriate, but the video is ridiculous.)

Here is the article: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/prairies/teachers-lap-dance-a-little-too-far-for-students/article1479114/

I won't paste the whole article here, but it's just disgusting what these teachers were doing. There is actually a video off to the right of the article - until they remove it, which it eventually will be, I'm sure. And it probably should be anyway.

What bothered me about the whole thing was not so much the article about what had happened. That's troubling enough, but if you read the comments, there are literally a few HUNDRED comments and I'd say a good 50% of these are in defense of the teachers' actions!!! That bothered me more than anything. One of the "in defense" comments was from another teacher, which just leads me to think we're going to continue to see many more cases such as this. One of the commentators even stated that "My personal opinion on the matter is that depending on the intent, it may have been in somewhat poor taste, but it was not inappropriate or actionable." Not inappropriate or actionable???? I can't believe anyone could watch the same video I watched and think it was in any way appropriate - or not inappropriate. It's unbelievable and goes to further show the extent to which we've been desensitized.

It is so sad. My heart breaks for these kids who are being exposed to so much that they should NEVER be exposed to - EVER.

Sonya

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Skiing / tubing in Eastern United States

Several people have asked me to share information in regards to discounts for homeschoolers to go skiing, etc. Here’s what I found out…

I did find out that Beech Mountain offers some really good lift ticket specials. You can read those here: http://www.skibeech.com/specials.html On most Mondays, for example, juveniles get free lift tickets.

Also, a few homeschoolers sent me a link to this website: xxxx. This is specifically a homeschool site that offers GROUP discounts if you go with them. It’s a wonderful opportunity to spend the day skiing or snowboarding with fellow homeschoolers. The prices they have are amazing! You’ll probably find the best DEALS here, if your schedule will allow you to go with them. (If you're interested in this, let me know and I'll e-mail you privately with the link to the website.)

I also discovered a terrific website with a whole bunch of ski resorts for the Eastern United States. You can read information about various resorts in NC, West VA, Virginia, etc. The site tells has links to each individual resort and has some wonderful statistics of each, hours of operation, average snowfall, average temperatures, what kinds of entertainment is available (skiing, tubing, etc.), and much more. http://www.skisoutheast.com/default.php

Finally, since most everyone who has asked me for additional information has expressed interest in going to North Carolina, I have listed all the North Carolina ski locations, how far they are from Johnson City, and directions. If you click on the link, there will be a Map Quest map with directions directly to the resort listed. They are each hyperlinked as well so that you can read more about each ski or tubing area before you go.

With all the wintery weather we’ve been having here and with the Winter Olympic Games going on, I hope some of you will have the opportunity to take advantage of this information.

Your friend,
Sonya Haskins

sonya@sonyahaskins.com

Monday, February 8, 2010

The Man of the House

I was listening to a radio show recently and the lady being interviewed said that a lot of women have difficulty in relationships because they are trying to be the men. She said, “Do you WANT to be the man or are you willing to be the woman?”

It made me think about my relationship with Chris (my husband) over the past 20 years…

When we were first married, I was looking for a man. After all, I had never had one in my life – no father, my brother and I lived in different houses, I never had a boyfriend, etc.; I really wanted a man, but truthfully, I was probably looking for a man who would fill all those roles, not the role of a husband.; After all, I had never seen how that role was supposed to work with a wife, especially in a Christian home.

My grandmother, who mostly raised me, had a husband and I dearly loved my grandfather, but he would disappear for days at a time when he was staying with his “other women.” Also, he wasn’t a believer, abused my mom and her siblings, and so the example there was less than desirable.

My mom was married four times – to three different alcoholics (one of them twice). These men were so abusive and cruel that I choose not to remember most of my childhood, which once included a two day stint being locked in a roach motel with my younger brother, left alone, while one of the men hid us from my mom to be spiteful. There are many worse memories, things I vowed my children would never experience.

I had a few friends from decent families, but honestly, most “good” people don’t want their children hanging around with poor kids from “trashy trailer park” families. It wasn’t my fault my family was that way, but they didn’t seem to care. It was rare that I was able to hang out with a “good family.” When I did, I studied them intently and the desire to be like them burned in my heart and soul.

Finally, when I grew up, I kind of knew what I wanted … I wanted a man who would allow me to retain my independence, yet who would be the father I never had, the brother I barely knew, a daddy to our own children one day and a husband to me – even though I still had NO idea what “husband” meant. Chris seemed to be all those things and so we were married. (I should probably note here that HE was in love. I honestly think I was being practical – no one else wanted me and he did so it was a perfect arrangement.)

Shortly after we were married, we lived with and cared for an elderly lady dying of cancer. After about seven months, she passed away and that same week, we found out we were pregnant with Sarah. We were never really ever alone in our marriage. We began caring for someone right away and then, for the next seven years, I was pregnant and/or nursing non-stop. I gave birth to five children in a period of six years and one month. All the while, we were also doing foster care and I was beginning to homeschool (even though when they were younger, I didn’t realize this yet!). During this time, I also managed the household (because I was at home), mowed the lawn (because I LOVE to mow!), took care of our finances (because I’m more responsible than Chris), disciplined the children (because I was gentler when needed and firmer when needed), cooked the meals (because that was my job), decided when and where we would take vacations (because I’m a better organizer), led family devotions with the children (because I knew if I didn’t, no one would), and the list could go on and on… You get the picture. I DID IT ALL!!!! And I told Chris what he should do. And he did it. He’s a great follower so this worked out very well for us!

Sadly, I was wrong in my actions… very wrong. I was being the woman of the house, but I was also being the MAN OF THE HOUSE, denying my husband the opportunity to do so.

When I became sick with Hannah, my behavior changed. The Lord really used my illness to show me all the things I couldn’t do on my own. I’m telling you, when you have other people taking care of your children for nearly a year because you can’t get out of bed, it really puts you in your place quickly!

Over the next six years, my relationship with Chris deteriorated more each year. I could no longer be the “man of the house” because I was physically unable, but I resented the fact that he was taking over that role and trying to do my role of being the “woman.” As a matter of fact, he was doing it all and I really resented him for it. I was mad at God that I was so sick. I was mad at Chris because he wasn’t. I was mad at the world because no one seemed to understand my frustration!!! After all, Chris was cooking meals almost each night, reading aloud to the children, cleaning the house, doing devotionals, and everything else I used to do! It was very discouraging to me to see him taking over all my jobs!

The fact is, however, that he wasn’t really taking over my jobs. He was helping me with some of my jobs (like cooking and cleaning), but he was really taking over his jobs – the ones I said he’d never do, or that he’d never do correctly or in a timely manner, and he was doing them well.

These days, I’m feeling much better, but I still have difficult days. I am able to care for my children and we have a very full life – lots of reading, board games, play time, travel, family time, etc. – but there are a lot of days when I have to sit back and watch rather than participate. I cook meals when I can and I still love to clean, but I have to do this on “good” days when I’m feeling well. As for the finances, Chris and I share that responsibility now. It turns out that it works better when you discuss things and work together for the common good. When I became sick and stopped doing devotionals, he actually took over that responsibility and hardly a day goes by that he doesn’t lead family devotionals with our children, without any prodding or reminding from me.

The boys are big enough to mow the lawn now so I’ve even lost that fun job, but honestly, I’m not physically able to do it most of the time and I also want them to have skills that will enable them to be MEN when they grow up. I want them to have practical skills, but also feel like they can accomplish something. Right now, accomplishment for an 11-year-old boy partially means being able to earn sweat from a hard day’s work.

Chris and I now discuss most things – vacations, whether we’ll watch a movie and which one, etc. – together. Before, he would never make a decision, but I see that this is partly because he didn’t have to – I did it for him. The other reason he didn’t is because even if he did, I would disagree and do it my way anyway! I know some of you ladies reading this out there must admit, if you’re honest with yourselves, that you do the same thing. Now, when Chris wants me to do something, even if I don’t want to (like go to a friend’s house to play cards when I have a headache), I do it – to please him. I also do it because before he would never ask me to do anything anyway and it’s wonderful to see that he now makes requests, asks me to do things, or even tells me to do something every now and then.

I guess I’ve learned over the past sixteen years – through trial and error, illness, and a lot of suffering, mostly due to my own stubbornness – that marriage isn’t a relationship with a father or a brother or the perfect husband you dreamed about as a girl. Marriage is a relationship with the man you chose to marry that involves intimacy, sacrifice, and allowing the other person to be the person they were meant to be. Even though I thoroughly enjoyed my role as the man of the house, our marriage has been one hundred percent better since I’ve allowed Chris to take on that responsibility. We are both more in love now than ever!

He has always been there for me – through better and worse, sickness and health, financial stress and struggles (we’ve never reached the “richer” part!) – and I believe he’ll be there “’til death do us part,” as will I. The only difference now is that for the first fifteen years of our marriage, I was the man of the house. For the remainder of our marriage, I plan to let him be the man and I will be quite content with my role as mother, wife, and woman of the house.

Sonya Haskins, author of Homeschooling for the Rest of Us

Thursday, February 4, 2010

NC state education leaders consider change to "history" curriculum

In North Carolina, state education leaders are considering a proposal to replace history with a modernistic, global approach.

Under the current curriculum, North Carolina students study the following:

ninth grade - world history
tenth grade - civics and economics
eleventh grade - United States history going back to the country's FOUNDING

Under the proposed change, high school students would study the following:

ninth grade - global studies, which would focus on issues such as the environment, peace, human rights, etc.
tenth grade - civics and economics (wouldn't change)
eleventh grade - United States history, but ONLY from 1877 onward

Many might argue that it’s silly to fret over this when students have thirteen years of school (including kindergarten) and they surely learn all the basics of U.S. history before high school anyway. This was the defense of Rebecca Garland, the chief academic officer for North Carolina Department of Public Instruction.

Well, let’s take a look at the “history” students learn before high school in North Carolina. (This information has been taken DIRECTLY off the North Carolina Department of Education website. This is the course of study followed in schools throughout the state.) The notes in parenthesis are mine.

Kindergarten – Self and Family / Families Around the World (globalism / social studies, not history)

First Grade - Neighborhoods and Communities Around The World (globalism / social studies, not history)

Second Grade - Regions: Local, State, United States, and World (geography, not history)

Third Grade - Citizenship: People Making A Difference (elementary civics, not history)

Fourth Grade - North Carolina: Geography and History (not U.S. history)

Fifth Grade - United States History, Canada, Mexico, and Central America (There are seven countries in Central America, plus the other three… That’s the history of TEN countries in one year?!?!? Aside from the fact that it’s the year most students are beginning to experience puberty and they’re supposed to concentrate???)

Sixth Grade – South America and Europe
Seventh Grade – Africa, Asia, and Australia
Eighth Grade – North Carolina: Creation and Development of the State

For the middle school years (grades 6, 7 and 8), the standard course of study of the countries listed above is described as follows on the NC Department of Education website:

“As students examine social, economic, and political institutions they analyze similarities and differences among societies. While concepts are drawn from history and the social sciences, the primary discipline is geography, especially cultural geography. This focus provides students with a framework for studying local, regional, national, and global issues that concern them, for understanding the interdependence of the world in which they live, and for making informed judgments as active citizens.”

In other words, students STILL AREN’T STUDYING HISTORY. It’s globalism with a little bit of geography, a spattering of history, and a LOT of politics thrown in! Notice words like global issues and cultural geography.

Before we go any further, it might help to understand a couple of definitions.

History - the study of events that happened in the past, particularly in a chronological order
Globalism – the study of anything that considers the entire world in scope

If you look back at the subjects being taught in North Carolina schools, it’s just another example of curriculum that promotes a globalist approach at the expense of our own culture and heritage. It promotes liberal thinking (such as environmentalism), leads students toward a one-world mindset, and certainly strips them of a true understanding of the principles on which our country was founded.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am increasingly grateful on a daily basis that my children will KNOW that men died to secure their freedoms. They will know WHY. They will READ and UNDERSTAND the Constitution of these United States and why we now say “the” United States instead of “these.” They will visit historic sites and they will study history from the beginning. I’m not just talking about the beginning of the United States, however, but the beginning that was created by the Alpha and the Omega – the beginning that was created by the one who sent his son to die for a bunch of people who don’t even want children to PRAY – the beginning that was created by the one who will signal for the sounding of the trumpets that will signal the end.

I am grateful that even as the leaders in North Carolina consider this change to their curriculum standards, we can once again be thankful for the opportunity to teach our children at home and we can continue to pray for the teachers, students, parents and others who are dealing with the changes in public school settings.

Sonya Haskins

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Becoming familiar with authors of the books your children read

When we read a book, we don't only read the BOOK, but we encourage the children to read the "about the author," "acknowledgements," etc. It's just a form of respect for the person who gave us the book. Oftentimes, we'll find out many interesting facts about the authors. Many times we'll even learn that they're believers.

Before we hand books over to the children, though, I research about the authors myself. When I'm sure that the author would have appropriate material, then I share the information with Chris (who reads aloud to them) and the children. (Or, if it's something they're going to read by themselves, I usually have Sarah read the books first. She's a great filter because she has very strict standards about the material in the books she reads.)

Anyway, researching the author is a great way to learn the CONTEXT of what you're reading. When you know a little bit about the author and the time period the book was written, it truly helps you understand the book better. The other advantage to this is that if the author seems not appropriate, I'll tell Chris not to read the book out loud or, obviously, not pass it along to the children to read themselves.

Frequently, we'll try new books or authors because we're familiar with their name or we've heard about the books, but it's still so very important to monitor the materials. For example, I found a book at a used sale by the author "Dola De Jong." Many of you are familiar with Meindert DeJong, the author of wonderful books like "The Wheel on the School" and "Along Came a Dog." Because their names were so familiar, we figured perhaps she was his daughter. Also, he died in 1991 and she died in 2003. We thought she COULD be his daughter, but when we read his biography, it mentioned no daughter. After much research, she apparently isn't related to him at all. Also, during this research, I discovered that that Dola De Jong was a feminist and her books were considered very racy, with stories of les***ns and love affairs. You get the idea. Of course Meindert DeJong was a fabulous author of beautifully-written stories for children with nothing inappropriate. (I also found out that her name has a space and his doesn't...) Anyway, I will obviously be getting rid of our Dola De Jong books, but I'm just so thankful that we research our authors before we read books to our children.

I know homeschool parents who read every single book before their children are allowed to read the books. I think this is a fabulous and honorable idea, but I just do not have time to do this. My children read about four hours per day and there is no way I could keep up with their voracious reading habits. This is the compromise we've come up with. I don't need to read every single piece of material if I know about the authors they are reading. It works for us and thus far we've had very few bad books filter through. If they do, then Sarah catches them or Chris will catch it as he reads aloud and we get rid of the book.

If any of you are interested in monitoring the books through the authors, I recommend that you read the "about the author" on the book (which can tell you a LOT), the acknowledgements (do they mention God, a publishing goddess, girlfriend/boyfriend, spouse, children etc.??), look up an obituary on the Internet (gives you lots of good information about when they lived, what else they did in their life, etc.), read a review of that particular book online, find a biography about the author (I do this a lot and I can tell you it's a lot faster than reading all their books), Google the author's name, etc. There are many ways you can find information about the authors of the books your children read. I just think it's important that parents take this step. We learned long ago that people's recommendations aren't always appropriate for us. (This is why, when I recommend books, I always try to mention things that I even think parents might find objectionable, such as a bad word here and there or the mention of magic.)

After my experience with DeJong, it was placed upon my heart to share our habit. I hope some of you who don't do it already will take the time to do this. Not only is it a wonderful habit to filter out much of the bad material, but it's a great way to learn about the authors you read and help your child discover how much more enjoyable a book is when you understand the context in which the book was written and also more about the person behind the words.

Enjoy your reading!
Sonya Haskins, author of Homeschooling for the Rest of Us

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Trying to get into the Air Force Academy

Sarah is determined that she wants to attend the Air Force Academy when she graduates and we would be honored to see her do so. She is already working diligently toward that goal. (She’s in ninth grade this year.) We’ve worked to compile some resources that we’re using and that also might help the rest of you who have students interested in pursuing this course.

The first thing you should know is that only about 13% of all applicants are accepted so it is a VERY difficult appointment to receive. Based on what I’ve read, students need to start preparing for admittance by their first year of high school. Without high grades throughout their high school career, good ACT or SAT scores, good medical records, and excellent physical training, it’s unlikely that your student will be accepted. It is my understanding that they do look at ALL of these things.

In addition to those “general standards, here are the specific requirements for admission:

- Be a citizen of the United States (or have a nomination from an official of a country invited into the United States by the Dept. of Defense)
- Be unmarried with no dependents
- Be of good moral character
- Be at least 17, but less than 23 years of age by 1 July of the year of entry
- Meet high leadership, academic, medical and physical standards

In addition to the normal application process, all candidates must secure a nomination to the Academy, normally from a United States Senator or U.S. Representative. Each member of Congress and also the Vice President can have five appointees attending the Air Force Academy at any given time.

In the next section, I've included a list of resources that would be helpful to families who have a student interested in attending the Academy. These sites have helped us a lot and hopefully they'll help you as well!

Blessings,
Sonya Haskins, author of Homeschooling for the Rest of Us (Bethany House, 2010)



The Civil Air Patrol is probably the best resource to prepare for the Air Force Academy. While students who participate in the program do NOT have to go into the military, nor do they even need to have any desire to do so, for those who do, it’s great preparation. We learned about Civil Air Patrol several years ago when I was working on a book about local resources. Sarah only started to participate this year, though. (You have to be 12 to join.)

In the Civil Air Patrol, you have the opportunity to experience orientation flights (with regular planes and gliders), training in rescue situations, survival training, and much more. It’s an excellent program! I can’t recommend it highly enough.

Students also have regular PT (physical training), uniform checks, testing, promotions (that they have to study for), etc. This makes it an especially good program for homeschoolers since they have exposure to a very structured setting with strict rules and regulations. Their website is: www.gocivilairpatrol.com

We haven’t actually read this book yet, but it’s on my “want” list. Hopefully we’ll be able to get it soon. It’s supposed to be a thorough book about how to apply and be accepted to the Air Force Academy. It has very good reviews.
http://www.amazon.com/Air-Force-Academy-Candidate-Book/dp/0929311078

This is just a short e-how article that I thought had some good, short, simple tips about how to apply for the Air Force Academy – and hopefully ideas that will help you be accepted.
http://www.ehow.com/how_2040260_apply-air-force-academy.html

This is a private site that basically has tips for getting into the Academy. It has cataloged newsletters that you can read, advice, and information about the Academy. It’s definitely worth browsing.
http://www.academyhorizons.com/

This site is a general site about colleges, but it has some really neat statistics about the Air Force Academy. http://www.cappex.com/colleges/United-States-Air-Force-Academy-128328